The Complete Guide to Traverse City
A town that turned an insane asylum into a wine bar, baked a cherry pie that needed a construction crane, and let a river out of a hundred-and-twenty-six-year jail. Cherries, lumber, and the asylum with a wine bar — a comedic walking tour of Traverse City where most of it is true and some of it definitely is not.
What You'll Experience
Plan your walk
Know the route before you buy
- Starts at
- Introduction
- Ends at
- The Reveal
- Walking plan
- 40 min · ~2.2 miles
- Schedule
- Start, pause, and resume anytime
Included in the app
- Professional narration
- GPS-triggered stops
- Downloadable tour audio
- Ask the Historian Q&A
- Optional end-of-tour reveal
- All 10 story stops
A taste of what you'll hear
10 stops, each with its own story. Here's a preview.
"You're in Traverse City. Which means you're standing in a town that took an insane asylum and turned it into a place where you can buy artisanal cheese and drink a flight of Riesling — in the actual wards."
"You're standing over the Boardman River, right where it runs through the middle of downtown. Some folks up here also call it by its older Anishinaabek name, the Ottaway."
"Alright. Before you go find a cherry pie of a more reasonable size, let's settle up. All tour, I've been slipping things in. Some of what I told you was true, some of it I made up, and I promised you'd find out which. Here's the accounting."
Tour itinerary
Every stop on this walk
Explore the route before you go. Each stop has its own story preview, location details, and place in the larger tour.
- 11IntroductionYou're in Traverse City. Which means you're standing in a town that took an insane asylum and turned it into a place where you can buy...44.7650, -85.6195 Read this stop
- 22Clinch Park and the BayYou're at Clinch Park, right on the edge of West Grand Traverse Bay. That building behind you showing movies — the Bijou by the Bay — has...44.7650, -85.6195 Read this stop
- 33The Open SpaceYou're standing at the Open Space, the big grassy stretch on the bay, and this is the ground zero of Traverse City's entire personality.44.7653, -85.6215 Read this stop
- 44The Hannah and Lay Mercantile BuildingYou're at the corner of Front and Union, looking at a big handsome brick building — arched windows, a heavy cornice up top.44.7634, -85.6205 Read this stop
- 55The State TheatreYou're in front of the State Theatre — the tall neon sign, the lit marquee hanging over Front Street.44.7636, -85.6193 Read this stop
- 66The Union Street Dam and the Boardman RiverYou're standing over the Boardman River, right where it runs through the middle of downtown.44.7605, -85.6179 Read this stop
- 77The Perry Hannah HouseYou're looking at the grandest house in Traverse City — round corner turrets, a wide veranda, the whole Queen Anne fairytale.44.7611, -85.6267 Read this stop
- 88The Village at Grand Traverse CommonsLook up at the building in front of you. That enormous brick castle with the spires — nearly a quarter of a mile long, one continuous...44.7565, -85.6431 Read this stop
- 99The Hippie TreeYou've walked out past the edge of the old hospital grounds, into the woods, and you're standing in front of a tree that does not look like...44.7518, -85.6465 Read this stop
- 1010The RevealAlright. Before you go find a cherry pie of a more reasonable size, let's settle up. All tour, I've been slipping things in.44.7518, -85.6465 Read this stop
Stories first
Every stop is built around people, conflict, ambition, and consequences—not a plaque read aloud.
Most of it is true. The extra mischief is just a wink at the end, but the story is what carries the walk.
Have questions? Just ask.
Curious about something you heard? Want to know more about a place? Ask us anything — we have a lot to say. It's more fun when it's a conversation.
Ready?
Download the app, head to the starting point, and press play. The stories start themselves.
Get the AppBefore you go
Quick answers
How much is this tour?
$9.99 as a one-time purchase in the iOS app. The Northern Michigan city pack is $14.99 and includes every currently available tour in the city.
Can I use it with spotty cell service?
Download the tour audio on Wi-Fi before leaving. Cached narration plays without streaming; map tiles and other online features may still need a connection.
Do I have to start at a specific time?
No. Start when it suits you, pause for a detour or meal, and resume later. Check the opening hours of any venue you personally plan to enter.
Are admission tickets included?
The purchase covers the Bad Historian audio experience. Transportation, food, and admission to third-party attractions are not included.
Other Northern Michigan Tours
Downtown Charlevoix
Earl Young's Mushroom Houses
A short, unlicensed insurance salesman spent fifty years building around thirty storybook stone houses in Charlevoix — burying nine-ton boulders in the ground for decades, tearing roofs off for being too neat, and naming his cottages like pets. Walk Earl Young's "hobbit houses" from the drawbridge to the lighthouse, and try to spot the one lie at every stop.
Mackinac Island
Mackinac Island — The Island That Banned Cars
Eight miles around the Great Turtle — an island where cars have been illegal since eighteen ninety-eight and roughly five hundred horses do all the work. A fort that surrendered without firing a shot, a doctor who spent eight years studying a hole in a living man's stomach, a hotel built in ninety-three days by candlelight, and an 'ancient legend' that was written in nineteen seventy. Most of what the Bad Historian tells you is true. A little of it he made up — you find out which at the end.
Tunnel of Trees
The Tunnel of Trees — Twenty Miles of Crooked Road
Twenty miles of the most famous two-lane road in America — M-one-nineteen, the Tunnel of Trees, the only Michigan state highway with no center line. A car-free town of millionaires who still ride a horse-drawn bus, a driftwood castle roofed in cast-iron stove legs, a village named after a post-office typo, and the Odawa homeland of the crooked tree, still here today. Most of what the Bad Historian tells you is true. A little of it he made up — you find out which at the end.
The Complete Guide to Traverse City
$9.99 · one-time