Steel, Stone & Ego
Chicago burned to the ground in 1871 and stacked the strangest concentration of ambition in America on top of the ashes. A newspaper tower studded with 149 pieces chipped off other people's landmarks. An office whose steel skeleton went up in fifteen days. A brick tower so heavy it sank twenty inches into the mud, so you step down into 1891. Two round concrete towers — the tallest apartments on Earth the day they opened — bankrolled by a union of janitors. And forty stories up, a goddess of grain with no face, because the sculptor assumed no one would ever build high enough to look her in the eye. Walk the Magnificent Mile into the Loop to Cloud Gate. Nearly all of it is documented. A few small details are mine, set into the true ones where they blend in. See how many seams you can find before the reveal.
What You'll Experience
Plan your walk
Know the route before you buy
- Starts at
- Introduction
- Ends at
- The Reveal
- Walking plan
- 53 min · ~2.6 miles
- Schedule
- Start, pause, and resume anytime
Included in the app
- Professional narration
- GPS-triggered stops
- Downloadable tour audio
- Ask the Historian Q&A
- Optional end-of-tour reveal
- All 14 story stops
A taste of what you'll hear
14 stops, each with its own story. Here's a preview.
"Chicago burned to the ground in eighteen seventy-one. What the city stacked on top of the ashes is the strangest concentration of ambition in America, and you're about to walk straight through the evidence."
"LaSalle Street ends here. Every bank and every trading house up that canyon lines up in two walls of stone, and at the bottom of the corridor the Chicago Board of Trade stands across the whole opening like a cork in a bottle."
"Right. The seams. I said I'd show you where I signed the wall. Start with one that sounds invented and isn't."
Tour itinerary
Every stop on this walk
Explore the route before you go. Each stop has its own story preview, location details, and place in the larger tour.
- 11IntroductionChicago burned to the ground in eighteen seventy-one. What the city stacked on top of the ashes is the strangest concentration of ambition...41.8970, -87.6243 Read this stop
- 22Chicago Water TowerThat yellow stone castle marooned in the middle of Michigan Avenue is the Chicago Water Tower, and it is the most overqualified piece of...41.8970, -87.6243 Read this stop
- 33Tribune TowerGet close to the base of the Tribune Tower and start reading the little brass labels. Because set into the limestone wall, at hand height,...41.8903, -87.6234 Read this stop
- 44The Wrigley BuildingThe white one is the Wrigley Building, and the white is doing a job. That skin is more than two hundred and fifty thousand individual pieces...41.8898, -87.6246 Read this stop
- 55Marina CityYour brain has already made the corn joke. Everybody's does. Those two round concrete towers standing in the river are Marina City, the...41.8886, -87.6286 Read this stop
- 66The Merchandise MartThe limestone thing occupying the entire far bank of the river is the Merchandise Mart, and the correct way to understand it is that this is...41.8886, -87.6354 Read this stop
- 77The RookeryFrom the sidewalk the Rookery is a fortress. Dark red granite, deep arches, stonework heavy enough to survive a siege by a medium-sized army.41.8790, -87.6320 Read this stop
- 88Chicago Board of TradeLaSalle Street ends here. Every bank and every trading house up that canyon lines up in two walls of stone, and at the bottom of the...41.8779, -87.6324 Read this stop
- 99Monadnock BuildingThe long dark brown slab in front of you is the Monadnock Building, and it has the visual charisma of a very serious brick.41.8779, -87.6295 Read this stop
- 1010Sullivan CenterGet close to the rounded corner where State Street meets Madison, and look at the metal around the doorway.41.8818, -87.6278 Read this stop
- 1111Reliance BuildingThe slim white tower on this corner is almost entirely window. Count the wall. There's barely any.41.8827, -87.6278 Read this stop
- 1212Chicago Cultural CenterGo inside this one. Walk in, climb the marble stairs, and look up. There's a stained glass dome up there thirty-eight feet across, made of...41.8837, -87.6247 Read this stop
- 1313Cloud Gate, Millennium ParkYou already know it's a bean. Everybody knows it's a bean. Its name is Cloud Gate, the sculptor is Anish Kapoor, and he has spent roughly...41.8827, -87.6233 Read this stop
- 1414The RevealRight. The seams. I said I'd show you where I signed the wall. Start with one that sounds invented and isn't.41.8827, -87.6233 Read this stop
Stories first
Every stop is built around people, conflict, ambition, and consequences—not a plaque read aloud.
Most of it is true. The extra mischief is just a wink at the end, but the story is what carries the walk.
Have questions? Just ask.
Curious about something you heard? Want to know more about a place? Ask us anything — we have a lot to say. It's more fun when it's a conversation.
Ready?
Download the app, head to the starting point, and press play. The stories start themselves.
Get the AppBefore you go
Quick answers
How much is this tour?
$9.99 as a one-time purchase in the iOS app. The Chicago city pack is $14.99 and includes every currently available tour in the city.
Can I use it with spotty cell service?
Download the tour audio on Wi-Fi before leaving. Cached narration plays without streaming; map tiles and other online features may still need a connection.
Do I have to start at a specific time?
No. Start when it suits you, pause for a detour or meal, and resume later. Check the opening hours of any venue you personally plan to enter.
Are admission tickets included?
The purchase covers the Bad Historian audio experience. Transportation, food, and admission to third-party attractions are not included.
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Al Capone ran a hundred-million-dollar beer empire, bathed three times a day, and lost it all to a tax form. A singer got his throat cut for switching nightclubs. A bank robber broke out of jail with a pistol carved from wood. Walk Prohibition-era Chicago from the Green Mill — where you can still drink in Capone's booth — down to the vanished hotels of the South Side, past the massacre site that's now a lawn and the cathedral where a man was gunned down in daylight. Most of it is documented. A few small things I slipped in myself. See if you can spot them before the reveal.
Museum Campus
Museum Campus: Landfill of Dreams
Everything on this campus stands on ground Chicago manufactured out of a burned-down city. A marble temple holds the most complete Tyrannosaurus rex on Earth, found because somebody got a flat tire. An aquarium a thousand miles from the sea got filled by hauling a million gallons of ocean up from Key West in railroad tank cars. There's the first planetarium in the Western Hemisphere, a two-thousand-year-old Roman column Mussolini sent as a thank-you gift, and a downtown airport a mayor erased with bulldozers at one in the morning. Walk the lakefront from Buckingham Fountain to Soldier Field. Nearly all of it is documented. A few small things I mixed into the fill myself. See how many seams you can find before I show you.
Lincoln Park
The Best Free Day in Chicago
One of America's oldest free zoos. A Victorian glass house. A hidden garden designed by a man who cashed in his life insurance for flowers. And roughly twelve thousand unmarked graves. All free.
Downtown
The Postcard Tour
Chicago's greatest hits — and the stories behind them. A river that flows backward, buildings covered in stolen rocks, towers that look like corn cobs, and a giant bean made by a man who wishes you'd stop calling it a bean.
Steel, Stone & Ego
$9.99 · one-time